So you're thinking about living in SoKo?!? Well that's grand!! But there are a few things worth knowing before you get here. Some of these things I researched before arriving. Some I was told about by others who had been living here. And some well.. I found out through awkward and fun situations. I started to jot down these things and quickly realized they are more like tips and that I should eventually blog about them. Let me point out that this mostly pertains to expats coming to LIVE here. However, if you're a tourist for a week in Seoul, than by all means some of these things will definitely help you! Whoever you are, keep an open mind, and remember: "Travel is the only thing you buy, that makes you richer."
Before I start this post.. I want to remind you all of one I wrote 9 months ago entitled, It's Not All Rainbows and Cupcakes Here. I actually got a lot of shit for this post as well as a lot of good advice. I was mostly reminded that this 3-month mark was when homesickness and annoyance starts to take over. I missed my family and my life back home. I was getting annoyed with things in this country. Me and Korea's honeymoon period was over. Its flaws were presented and my patience was tested. I was sad. Things turned around, I became more accepting of things I could not change, and this place became my home.
SO ladies and gents, here is my own personal survival guide (kudos to a friend who inspired some of these tips below. Visit her blog entitled With Love, From South Korea!)
1. Eat Kimchi!!!
And learn to like it! Kimchi 김치 is Korea's staple food along with rice. It's basically fermented cabbage dowsed in red pepper paste. It can be very spicy and it's paired with a strong smell. Kimchi will be presented to you at every single meal, and you will be on every Korean's good side if you pick it up and chew it with a smile. But I swear people it is not the worst thing in the world. I was not the biggest fan when I got here, but I never said no to it, and it didn't take me too long to actually enjoy the stuff. I now consume it at every meal it's presented at. I crave kimchi jiggae 김치 찌개 (crazy spicy kimchi soup). If you're out for samgyupsal, galbi or some kind of bbq dinner, and you don't like to eat it raw, grill it! Put it on the grill, slap it on a lettuce wrap with some meat, pepper paste, a piece of garlic and radish, and shove that entire thing in your mouth! You'll thank me! Basically... learn to like it. This food is a Korean's pride and joy.
2. You will be stared at. Get over it.
In Seoul, not so much, if at all. I'm talking about small cities like my own.
You're a westerner. A foreigner. A waygookin 외국인. If you have blue eyes, blonde or red hair, dark skin.. Forget about it. We're walking celebrities! You can either embrace it or grow annoyed every time you walk out your door. I live in the most conservative city in all of South Korea. The stares are doubled here. If I'm having a good day, I don't even realize the eyes of the ahjummas and ahjussis following me down the road. I'll bow to them with a short annyeong haseyo. But if I'm having a rough day, I will get annoyed and the NY in me will unleash. I have been known to stop in my tracks, turn around and lift my arms in a "wtf are you looking at!?" way. SO on the days where you're at a red light waiting to cross the road and a Korean literally turns their body to you, and looks you up and down- you decide what to do with it. Just remember- the older generation never really had foreign and western influence during their young lifetime. So looking over and seeing you is very interesting to them. It's all in how you choose to deal with it. Some days I just put my shades on and pretend I'm Gaga. Have fun with it if anything. All it takes is a simple bow and their entire attitude will change. Their faces will light up and you'll walk away with a good feeling, not an aggravated one.
3. Watch where you step!
Here, it is rude to blow your nose in public. BUT it is not rude to hock a loogie. So... watch where you walk and never get too too close to someone sniffling. Chances are you know what's coming next, and they're not always good about where they aim. It's basically just one big Titanic scene. You know the one I'm talking about..
4. Always keep some tissues in your bag.
If you're traveling, chances are you're going to run into a restroom that doesn't provide toilet paper. Or the toilet paper will be on a roll outside the stalls. In this case, you may get yourself into a situation where you didn't grab enough before you stepped in... You guys are smart- you can figure the rest out. Do yourself a favor. Carry tissues. Oh and just use the damn squatters.. something I just needed to get over.
5. Please PLEASE be careful when crossing roads.
Korean drivers are known for, well, they suck. Their driving is insane and Koreans themselves will admit this. Just because the little green guy says you can walk does not mean you should walk. They will come speeding down little alleys; they will drive on sidewalks to get ahead. It is complete organized chaos. I've had countless students, foreigner friends, and most recently a friend's co-teacher get into car accidents. It is a daily thing and way too common. The only time I approve is when I'm in a taxi and running late, and even then I am holding on to that hand rail for deal life the entire ride. The best is witnessing ahjummas slamming their hand down on trunks and hoods of cars because they almost just got run over. I, myself, have stood in the middle of the crosswalk so the car has no choice but to slow down. I have gone as far as pointing at their car then pointing at the little green guy.
6. Be Ready to GET PERSONAL.
Koreans love to ask you personal questions when they first meet you. Questions that in western society are considered "touchy subjects." How old are you? Who did you vote for? How much do you weigh? Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Why don't you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? What's your blood type? Korea is all about hierarchy. They need to understand who and where you are in relation to them, which is where the age obsession comes in. This past year was an election year for both the States and Korea, so my political stance was very much intriguing. You're a westerner, we're all overweight compared to them. Weight will be brought up. My students are constantly amazed that I don't have a boyfriend. In Korean years I'm 25, which is ancient for not having a steady boyfriend on the verge of marriage. I try to make my girls see that it's okay not to have a boyfriend and to be an independent woman. This is rarely comprehended, so sometimes it's just easier to say yes and be done with it. I still don't understand the blood type thing, but you WILL be asked. Multiple times. Fun fact: One of my favorite K-Pop bands, B1A4 (named after 1 of their members being blood type B, and 4 members being blood type A.)
7. You're living in THEIR country. Learn their language.
Learning how to read and write hangeul was a piece of cake. All it takes is a bit of time just sitting down with it. Before you know it, you'll be able to read every single sign, every restaurant menu, your students' names, etc. Talk To Me In Korean is a website I was told about during orientation and it proved quite useful. I recommend it for anyone moving to Korea. Life will be so much easier once you know how to read and write their language. The next step is speaking it, which is a bit more difficult. The Korean language has sounds that the English language does not, so it's definitely a challenge. No one is going to force you to learn the language, but in order to be respected here, and in order to respect yourself, even just learning key phrases will make your life here so much easier and so much more fun. I started learning Korean while I was substitute teaching back home. My lunch breaks and prep-periods were filled with self-made flash cards and travel books. You learn a lot just being around your students and co-teachers here as well. There's no doubt you'll pick up expressions just being around Koreans. I am by no means fluent. I know close to nothing in comparison to my other friends, but I like to think I know enough to get myself by, give directions to a cab driver, order food at a restaurant, share jokes with my students, and have simple conversations with co-teachers who don't speak a lick of English. I've got to say, the best feeling is when you understand what your co-teachers or students are talking about. Your ears perk up at the Korean words you just heard and you are able to put together the conversation. That's a really cool feeling that I don't think will ever get old.
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness"- Mark Twain
8. KikinitinKorea
If you're teaching in this country, bookmark this website! It is absolutely brilliant. It literally has me on the floor dying of laughter every day. I've stopped showing it to friends back home, because, well, they just can't appreciate it. This website will help you get through every rough day here, and make every good day that much more wonderful. While you're at it... bookmark this one too: Black Out Korea. A photo blog dedicated to the obscene amount of drunken Korean business men passed out on the streets of Korea.
9. Don't forget where you come from and who you are
If you're anything like myself, my family means the absolute world to me. I miss them everyday and it's been proven hard to be so far away from each other. But if your family is anything like mine, they respect the fact that I'm here fulfilling my dream of seeing the world. Don't forget to include them in any way you can. Skype is a beautiful thing. Facebook is wonderful, even when it's not. Technology has made traveling and being apart from people you love and care about so much more feasible. Send postcards! They're super cheap and so old school! They make for such an authentic part of your traveling adventures and stories, and a keepsake that facebook statuses will never give you. Invest in a decent camera or at least a smart phone. Keep them included in where you are and what you're doing. It'll make them that much more comfortable with you being halfway across the world. After all, they're your first family.They're where you started. In terms of staying true to who you are- If something is truly bothering you- speak up. You're smart, you will learn how to be culturally appropriate when bringing up touchy subjects. If it's affecting you so much that you feel the absolute need to discuss it... first get advice from friends who have been in Korea longer than you have. And if it still seems like the right thing to do, speak up. Yes you are living in their country and in their culture, but in the end, you still have your own culture and your individual morals. So if you feel the need to discuss with your co-teacher about getting your special needs students' textbooks, or you feel the need to (gently) push back an ahjumma on the subway, do it! Just tread carefully and use your common sense.
"Especially now when views are becoming more polarized, we must work to understand each other across political, religious, and national boundaries." -Jane Goodall
10. Take It All In
You're going to have rough days. You're going to have magical ones. You're going to want to punch everything in sight. You're going to crave new experiences. You're going to want to cry to your mom. You're going to connect with people like you've never connected with anyone before. You're going to vent, yell, laugh, cry, drink, and dance with them. You'll do it all. A year will go by in the blink of an eye. So take it all in. Invite your co-teachers over for dinner in your small ass apartment, go to that mud-festival across the country, make a trip to Jeju-do, visit the gorgeous temples in Seoul, get to know the cultures your friends come from, learn some K-Pop, mix soju and beer (but not often), don't be afraid of making mistakes, go out to eat alone, learn to forgive yourself, stay in love motels, don't try to change things here that you have no right to try and change, travel alone, get to know your students even if you have 200 of them, eat that damn kimchi, have too many LI iced teas at Thursday Party, and after that pop open a beer with your friends while sitting outside your local 7-Eleven..just because you can, start a blog, be an open-book, don't hold back. You're still young. Embrace it. Asian and Western culture could not be more different. It'll be an adjustment, but one that will better you. Your relationships here will be real and lasting, and your experiences and stories will be forever in your memory.
"Please be a traveler. Not a tourist. Try new things, meet new people, and look beyond what's right in front of you. Those are the keys to understanding this amazing world we live in." -Andrew Zimmern
