Friday, September 12, 2014

The Past Seven Months..

As I sit here on my couch back in New York, I have the sudden urge to do something with my evening other than watching the news, which has recently become too unnerving to turn on. It is September 11, 2014.. 13 years after the 9/11 attacks. Isis has been threatening our country, our people, and our peace of mind. I had a very vivid and frightening dream last night where Isis had flown and crashed one of the stolen Libyan planes right on my school's property. I watched the entire thing through the window of a classroom.

As terrifying and alarming as that dream might have been.. it was the first dream in 4 consecutive days that I did not dream about my ex-boyfriend..

So I sit here, writing my first blog entry in seven months. I feel like there is so much that has gone on in my life.. and that's quite the understatement. I don't quite know where to begin.. but we can start with my family.

Six months ago, after two years of being away in Korea, I made my way back to New York. I met my niece, Eve, for the first time, who at the time was only 3 months old. She could barely hold her head up, and now she is almost 9 months old, crawling, pulling herself up on everything, getting her hands on everything in sight, and smiling, laughing, and making our days brighter. Emma, who I skyped with constantly while I was in Korea.. has become such a light in my life. She is bright, funny, polite, and is growing up so fast. These girls are growing up in a very non-traditional setting, but our family, including their wonderful mother, are doing everything we can to shield them from the things going on around them, and to make sure they know they are loved, cared for, and protected.
The very first morning after returning home, and moments after meeting Eve.





In the last month or two, our family has gone through hell. Not going to sugar coat that. Alcoholism has once again presented itself. along with hardcore drug addiction. Very recently, my family member grew the strength to admit to their addictions and took the first steps necessary. With the help of another family member, he chose to better himself, and get the help he needs. It's going to be a very long and hard road. Each day will bring something different. There were some nights there where I didn't know what the end result would be, what the end of the night would bring.. Now, I can say with complete and total confidence, that my younger brothers and I have dealt with things in a way that proves strength in us all.. We have grown, thanks to our wonderful mother, to be able to handle ANYTHING.. as long as we use each other and lean on each other. I am so grateful for each of my brothers. We show compassion and love, even in the darkest of nights. And all I keep thinking is how lucky these girls are to grow up in a family like ours. And how lucky my brothers and I are, to have had a mother who sheltered us in the way that she did and to have taught us what she did.






On to my job status..
Back in May, I scored a 6-week 4th grade leave replacement position. I had the time of my life, despite the serious needs and behavioral issues in my class. I learned SO much, and that aided me in interviews throughout the summer, with the knowledge that I so quickly acquired during that time.

Over the summer, I worked at my district's summer enrichment camp. There, I taught a writing and creative technology class to some of the most gracious and eager students I had ever had the pleasure of teaching. I also worked alongside a group of teachers that were simply AMAZING. We spent each break talking about job searching techniques, interviewing advice, and Orange is the New Black of course..

Like I said, I had a few interviews over the summer with NYC DOE, but clearly nothing came of that. I am grateful to have scored a full time 1:1 Teacher's Assistant position in my own district. I work with a student with autism. I work with an amazing Special Education teacher, who has taught me more than I thought I could learn in just the past two weeks. Each day I am challenged and kept on my toes.. which is what teaching is all about.

I have already had two weeks of grad school, and I love every minute of it.. I say that now.. but I'll admit receiving the syllabi made me immediately anxious. I really did miss being in a classroom, meeting new people who have the same interests as me, and learning more about the field I am in. My professors are incredible. Smart-asses.. which makes late night classes that much more fun and manageable.

I visited Boston with my best friend! It was a girls weekend.. something we both really needed. I can't even begin to explain how nice it is to finally be home with her. Oh how I missed you Brit! Though we are grandmas with way more responsibilities and no more 21-yr-old bounce-back, closing out our usual bar every Thursday night.. we can, if we want, still have a damn good time!







The boy. This last part is what really made me sit down and decide to start writing tonight. Writing has always been.. and I know will always continue to be.. the way I deal with my emotions. I have a hard time talking about things and making myself the center of attention with people listening to me. I have always been uncomfortable with that. And so writing became my out; my way of not bottling things up and blowing up. I am also aware that writing on here is public, and our relationship is private, as it should be.. so I will just scratch the surface with this one, as I always have when it comes to us. Orlando and I had an amazing few months once I came home, but the stresses of our daily lives, learning how to live and be with each other in each other's presence and not through a phone or computer screen proved challenging. We knew it would be, but we weren't ready for the extent of it. I think this goes for many relationships that start out long-distance. My mother said something that resonated with me.. that while in Korea, our daily lives did not affect each other as much as it does here. The most we really had to sacrifice was waking up or going to sleep late in order to make Skype dates. Orlando and I learned about each other's values, morals, dreams, and fears very early on. We quickly realized that we had something there that was just...right. And in his words, the feelings that we had for each other "don't happen often for people." We made each other grow in ways we never thought we were capable of. He made me believe love is real. We both thought we knew what love was before we met.. we both thought we had loved before. We were wrong. Us. This. We could never really explain our love for each other. We'd get tongue tied. That's how we knew. I learned (slowly) how to let go of some things, how to allow a man to protect me and make me feel safe and wanted. The thing is, once we came home.. real, daily stresses began to creep back into our lives. I had to settle back into my life here in the States. For people who have never lived abroad for an extended period of time.. will never know what that feels like. And that's okay. It's expected with an expat. Any expat who comes home and expects people in their old life to understand what they're going through, is a fool. But the fact that my friends who DID know what I was feeling, lived so far away, was difficult. It continues to be. Which is why when I couldn't talk to them, I turned to articles and blogs about reverse culture shock and how to best deal with it. But for me.. I had this relationship to focus on as well as deal with all of those changes and hardships on coming home. Couples disagree, couples argue, couples give each other space so that they can take some time to figure out exactly what they want. There are two people in a relationship, and both of these people need to be strong, be satisfied with their own lives, and know what they want.. before they can give their significant other the time, devotion, and love they deserve.

Relationships. They're hard. They're a lot of work. Nothing in life comes easy, and no matter how much you love the person you're with, no matter how right you are for that person.. you both need to continue to work on it. But you can't forget your individual dreams. You can't let those slide away because they're what make you, you. It's taking me a while, but I'm trying to stick to the fact that you need to be strong yourself before you can be strong with someone else. You need to know what YOU want, before you can share it with someone else.

I will never forget what my Aunt Ashley said to me one day a few years back. "No one knows what goes on in your relationship behind closed doors." She's right. People will always judge and have their opinions, but at the end of the day, behind that door.. it's YOU and HIM. That's it. You are the only two who can work on your relationship and build it back up when it falls. She also said, "in a relationship, you need to both be willing to change and grow together." If you're not willing to do that, it won't work. This new point in my life is heartbreaking and devastating, and it's about all I can do each day to get up, get myself to work where I can greet my students who put a smile on my face. A sincere one. Although it was pertaining to work, I believe it's going to help me in dealing with my not being with Orlando anymore.. My wise Aunt Therese said the other day, "Sometimes one day at a time needs to be broken up into hours, or even minutes."

I miss my life in Korea. I miss the ease of traveling. I miss my friends. I miss being able to walk up a hill to their apartment. I miss meeting them at a coffee shop downtown. I miss their accents, their culture, their personalities, the wine nights. I miss Daegu, Seoul, and Busan, meeting people from all different walks of life, each with their own story of how they came to be in this country. I miss singing my heart out at open mics every month. I even miss the troubles and the frustrations, because it just brings me back to the fact that wow... look what I did. Look what I accomplished. You come back home after being abroad, and reality hits that everyone kept on living their lives. Friends finished their masters, got engaged, married, had kids, bought houses, have mortgages. Well, good for them. That's their path. But I am far from those things. I'm glad I don't have a mortgage at 25 or a ring on my finger. Those things can wait.. We're still so young.

I.. I had experiences that no one can ever take away from me. And I am grateful for every one of them.










  




Monday, February 17, 2014

Reflection and Reverse Culture Shock (My Top 5 Concerns For Returning Home)


"The loneliness of an expatriate is of an odd and complicated kind, for it is inseparable from the feeling of being free, of having escaped."
-Adam Gopnik


A little over two years ago, I wrote my first blog entry entitled, "My Top 5 Concerns About Moving to South Korea."

Since I love reflecting on anything and everything, (I'm serious.. I do this all the time. Sometimes formally writing it down. I think it goes back to assignments back in school reflecting on our lesson plans..such a nerd I know.) Anyway!! I'm going to address those concerns and how they turned out to affect me or not, throughout these last two years.

While I'm at it, it makes sense to look into my top 5 concerns for moving back home.. that's a little later.

First, let's take a look at what those top 5 were..


1. Teaching:
Well, right from the beginning I had to throw out half of what I learned in University. Western ways of teaching don't always work here. The Korean education system was something I really had to get used to.. and fast if I was going to succeed here. Letting things go helped me to become more patient and more open-minded. A few things come to mind: In Korea, running, hitting, fooling around in the hallways and classroom is completely acceptable. Teachers do not need to be in the classroom when students are. Teachers, principals, etc. will drink alcohol on school premises (during school hours.) Principals and vice principals will get shitfaced and hit on girls in noraebangs and expect everything to be normal the next day at school like nothing happened. Teachers are often found sleeping at their desks when students leave for the day. Teachers and administration have a different relationship here than they do home. Teachers can be extremely nervous and scared to confront the vice principal and principal, even for the simplest of things. Discipline is on opposite sides of the spectrum- either non-existent or involves the use of corporal punishment (which became illegal in the time that I've been here.) There is often a tea time mid-morning where teachers are expected to drink tea/coffee and have snacks with their departments. It acts as a bonding time. Everything is last minute. Every foreigner living in Korea can account to this. And it's one thing that drives. us. crazy. But.. you deal, just like everything else. Children are way more trusted in this country, which I've come to love in this education system.

2. Collectivism:
This is something I've had trouble with the entire time I've been here. I am a very independent person and constantly being expected to do things in groups was a struggle. Koreans being curious and shocked when I did things differently than them, like played volleyball (because I'm a female), didn't eat rice, walked on my own for a bit on a field trip and not with the other female teachers, etc was frustrating. Having to explain to my students that they could be creative with activities and projects and that they did not need to do everything exactly how I modeled it, was a constant struggle. They needed to know EXACTLY what to do and questioned everything. I hope I sparked creativity in some of them, because I made it a point to single out the students who DID think up unique ways of doing things and who went against the grain.  

3. North Korea:
North Korea only seemed to be an issue earlier last year, when tensions were pretty high. I had a time where I was seriously contemplating coming home. I don't know if that was an easy way out for me; an easy excuse, or truly because I was scared. Either way, I stuck it out and North Korea continues to be the joke of this country.
ON another note I have read two amazing books on North Korea that I highly recommend:
"Escape From Camp 14"- A documentary about a North Korean born in a North Korean labor camp, who later escaped.
"Nothing To Envy"- A book that goes into the unbelievable life stories of various North Korean refugees. Quite the tear-jerker. A real piece of reality.

4. Food:
Before I moved here, I was worried about two things in this topic- The spice and the weight gain from starches (aka the rice.) The spice was a little tough in the beginning, but I've come to the conclusion that my taste buds have just become used to it. I'll have the occasional reaaaally spicy kimchi jiggae, but other than that, I'm a big fan of the spice now and it rarely bothers me. The weight gain- Unfortunately THAT happened. But I changed that very quickly my second year. I made a decision to stop eating the school lunches, despite the minor "cultural disrespect" and shock that caused my school. I started a serious workout schedule, started eating clean, and cut down on the alcohol. Those four things allowed me to lose a ton of weight and gain muscle I've never seen in my life. Though as these last two weeks are approaching, I have been making sure to get in all of my favorite Korean foods, including jjimdak, dak galbi, kiimchi jiggae, kimbap, mandu, naengmyeon, jajangmyeon (Korean-Chinese), Shabu shabu (Vietnamese), galbi. Authentic Korean food- I will definitely miss, but I'm grateful Flushing, Queens is only 45 mins away!

5. Transportation:
This shouldn't have been a concern at all. Transportation in this country is super easy. Buses and trains are almost always on time. Subways are clean and reliable. Buses can get too hot for comfort. Trains can be too loud at times. But all in all pretty grateful for being able to get around this country with ease.






So with 12 days left in this country I've called home for the last two years, I'm about to return to the States. Reverse Culture Shock has already set in and I'm not even home yet. Culture shock is a popular expression when you move or travel to a new country where you experience disorientation, due to a new environment that is different than your own. Reverse Culture Shock however, is not as well-known. It happens when you re-enter your home country from living abroad. It's an emotional and psychological re-adjustment period. It's also confusing, as you expect to go right back to how things were, but now that you've been away for so long, experiencing all these different countries, people, and different ways of life, you start questioning things at home that once seemed so normal to you. You may question your identity, your relationships, become bored, get the feeling that no one quite understands you. Just as it took time to adjust to being away from home, it's now going to take time to re-adjust to being back in your own culture. Reverse Culture Shock has been proven to take more of a toll on you, and take more time to overcome.  

1. Living at home/Finding an apartment
I haven't lived at home for an extended period of time for over six years. I was away at school for four years. I came home for nine months and then I came here, where I've been living on my own for two years. It's going to be an adjustment, especially because I don't know for how long I will be at home. My bedroom has currently been taken up by my brother and his girlfriend. So I will now be taking over my brother's room while he's up at school. But when May comes around, and the whole clan is back under one roof, I will need to have something figured out. By that point I'm sure I'll be ready to move out and find my own place, especially with school and a job starting. As my mom said, "this is a transition everyone goes through. This will always be your home. There will always be a place for you here if you need it." Thanks mom for the tears. But she's right. I do need and want to be home for some time before picking up my life yet again. I need that.

2. School Mode
Come August, it's back to the books. Grad School awaits me. I'm actually super excited to be in a classroom again. You can call me a nerd all you want, but I miss being around intelligent people who speak my language and have a common interest in education. As excited as I am, I'm anxious about getting into the mind-set of school. After two years away from it, it'll take some re-focusing. But I'm sure I'll get right back into it.

3. My So-Called "English"
Yeah.. about that. For the past two years, I have been speaking very basic, fundamental, English. It has involved many "ummms" and "uhhhhs" and " "you know what I means.." English teachers here all agree on this. We get it. We all do it. We leave out articles; we forget entire words. We go blank. I'm constantly paying attention to my grammar, because I know there's a big chance I'll mess something up. But it all makes sense. This is how we speak to our students and our co-teachers and colleagues all day long. Our English is not being tested for 8 hours a day/5 days a week. You go out to a restaurant, coffee shop, or store, and if for some reason you can't find your Korean, you resort to simple English. But the worst is speaking like this to your friends. It's actually quite comical at times. An example:
"You know?" instead of "Do you know what this is?" has been said numerous times between us.
    
4. Building Back Relationships
Two years. A lot can happen in 24 months. Especially when you're not around. Friends moved away, got engaged, got new jobs. Family had kids. My house now holds my older brother who I haven't lived with in about eight years. We now have my niece living with us which will be a complete joy!! We have skyped so much throughout this past year and I hope I have secured somewhat of a relationship with her through that. Me and my mom's relationship has become so strong and close. I think traveling together has had a lot to do with that. But like I said, I have lived here on my own for the last 2 years, so I guess it's normal to feel a little anxious to come back to living in a full house.

5. Boredom and "The Travel Bug"
I have been surrounded by people of different cultures, countries, and backgrounds for a long time now.. I've gotten used to it. Traveling gives you the power to meet all of these wonderful people, with all of these awesome opinions, stories, and experiences. You don't get that at home. Not in this way. You don't go out to your local bar and meet an Irish, Australian, Kiwi, South African, all with their own stories of how they got there or how and why they quit their job to travel the world. How they are running out of money so they're about to go home to earn some more before picking up and leaving again. THIS is what I will miss most. It is going to be the major thing that pulls me back into this enormous beautiful world.

One more because well, this one is big.. The Questions:
I have had friends ask me, "Are you coming home yet?" I've had friends whose families have asked things like, "So you're going to start your life now?" This is another thing I'm not looking forward to. People who do the 9-5, go to college, get married, have kids thing- some of them have this opinion that living abroad is a "way-out." A "vacation" before starting your "real life." It's judgmental and close-minded. But as my friend Lisa brought up, what if we expats asked these people, "So when are you going to see something outside of your comfort zone?" or "So you're finally going to take a risk and see how you change as a person?" She said in a way, these questions are more rude because we are the ones outside of the social norm, and asking it to people in the norm is more harsh. And while these questions are inevitable and I will react as best I can, like Lisa, I am not looking forward to them.

"How was Korea?" How was Korea.. hmmm. You cannot possibly answer that question to your own satisfaction. I received this question more times than I could count when I was home. I was prepared for it. My friends who were abroad longer than I was warned me. You need to understand that the person asking it really just wants a simple answer. "Great!" or "Such an experience!" When I was home, the people who asked me this question were family and friends who hadn't kept up with me being over here. Which is fine. And they're not being rude by not asking detailed questions. They just don't have any background knowledge on my life here. You need to keep in mind they are interested in their own way, but you're not about to sit them down with a 3-hour long conversation about your time here. There is no way you can possibly wrap up two years of your life here, how you've changed, who you've now become, how you see people, things, and the world differently. So you answer that question with a "Great!" or "Such and experience!" and be done with it. I can honestly say my mother is THE only person who truly knows just about everything that has gone on with me here. The ups, the downs, the in-betweens, the homesickness, the annoyances, the travels, the incredible moments. She knows pretty much all of them. And I'm grateful I had just that one person to really count on to listen. To my tears and to my laughs. She is one incredible woman for taking it all without judgment.  

These past two years have been an absolute joy. Despite the frustrations at times, I regret not one moment of my time here. I have become a better person because of it and I have changed in ways I never thought I could. I have made friends who are now like family. I have been thrown into situations that tested me to the absolute limits. Physically, emotionally, and psychologically.


       


Sunday, February 2, 2014

Thailand Pt 2 & Cambodia

So it's been a week now since I touched down in Korea for possibly the last time..

Not only was I lucky enough to get to the beautiful country of Thailand, but I had the chance to go AGAIN. And on top of that.. fly over to Cambodia for 4 days. This time around I went with my friend Lloyd. We turned out to be great travel partners! Traveling with friends is always a gamble. Sometimes people can make the best friends but when you travel and are put into situations, problems can arise at how you both deal with everything. Well... by the end of the trip, Lloyd and I were able to communicate through our eyes and developed a type of joint intuition. Especially in these two countries where you need to be on your game at all times with the haggling and sketchy situations you are unwillingly put in.. I'd say we did pretty damn well! I mean we were smack in the middle of the first two days of Bangkok protests and came out in one piece right! Not funny? Ok..



Amar and Pop Bernie made a visit <3

Bangkok

I was able to do some of the things I didn't get to do last time, which was great! This included seeing Wat Arun- a beautiful older temple on the other side of the river, and taking an overnight train. The overnight train was quite the experience and I recommend it to any traveler who wants to save a few bucks and see the country side. Unfortunately we had the top bunks which had no windows so there was not a lot of "countryside watching" to be done.  I did my fair share of research on Trip Advisor before buying tickets at the train station. There are way too many scams that go on in this country and I wasn't about to get ripped off. It turned out to be way too easy.. we ignored all the random men trying to sell tickets around us and went right up to the counter.
We bought 2nd class A/C sleeper tickets to Surat Thani with a combined bus ticket to Krabi. So we stocked up on some nuggets (snacks), as Lloyd says and we were on our way! The 2nd class sleeper cars are open, meaning you don't have your own private cabin quarters. This is the more social option.. Unfortunately we had two Thai women beneath us, so there was not a lot of socializing that could be done. The younger people were a few cars down, including a bunch of German guys who came prepared with a huge cooler of ice with enough Chang and Singha to get them through the night/morning. There was a lot of rolling around in our tiny bunks but I slept surprisingly well. I got up to go to the bathroom once and the walk there was quite like a scene out of a horror movie. One of the train employees scared the shit out of me when I looked down and saw him lying passed out on top of extra sheets and pillows in the bathroom car. Other than that, I'm glad I got the experience in. It's one every traveler should really take part in.
Let me just say that it was only supposed to be a 2-hr bus ride to Krabi from the train station. No. When do things ever go right in SE Asia?? We arrived in Surat Thani, and it was a series of busses, waiting at sketchy taxi/bus stations, handing out of stickers to be put on our shirts, people ordering us where to go without any explanation. Ehh you just take out your kindle (keeping it close to you) and roll with it, because for all you know it could be 20 minutes until your next move or 2 hours..


Wat Arun 
Day 2 of Bangkok Protests

Krabi was gorgeous, just as I remembered it. We had wonderful food and too much sun (ha that's a joke! There can never be too much sun when you've spent the last 2 months living in below freezing weather.) I'll never get over those long-tail boats. Beautiful.
One of many tuk-tuk rides
AoNang Beach, Krabi

Ko Phi Phi
Three days later it was on to Ko Phi Phi. A quick 90 minute ferry over to the island and then it was a 15 minute trek along the beach to our hostel. (There are no cars on Phi Phi, only bicycles and rolly carts that you can hire to carry your luggage.)
So as we're walking along the beach on Dahlam Bay, lined with bars, bars, and more bars.. I'm beginning to notice the sense that I'm back at college. Now we knew our hostel had a bar, which most hostels do.. but we did not know that this hostel was ACTUALLY the bar. Now, me and Lloyd didn't party this vacation.. I guess I feel like I could have.. but didn't really have an urge to like the past. This island just put everything into perspective for me, and I actually had a hard time with it in the beginning. This hostel being the start of it.. We went to bed at around midnight that night, didn't pass out until about 5am.. I never want to hear the pounding of bass like that ever again in my life.. The first thing we said to each other when we woke up... "New accommodation?" After a few inquiries and a few roach spottings- we finally ended up with a lovely guesthouse, Garden Home (recommend it) on the other side of the island that was quieter and away from the constant drunken state of the Dahlam Bay side.
Don't get me wrong, we had a great time on Phi Phi. Soaked in the sun, enjoyed mojitos before noon, swam in crystal clear water.. but this part of the vacation really made me realize how much I've grown up. The whole getting drunk 24/7 and wasting your money and memories on alcohol and stupid decisions is no longer what makes me happy. I'd rather spend my money on other things that really will give me memories to last me a lifetime. Don't get me wrong, I love a good drink and a good time, but to the point that some of these people were getting to.. it's too much for me now. I had a hard time with that when I was first realizing it, thinking I should be partying more and meeting more people, but I do that anyway. And why was I trying to force it? Forcing myself to go back to 18 years old, a freshman in college, drinking my days away? I don't find satisfaction in that anymore. The second we left that island, it hit me that that's okay. I AM growing up.  I still love a good time. That part of me will never leave. I can still down some shots and take over a dance floor, but things are just different now. I'm focused on the important things in my life now. I have a serious boyfriend whom I love dearly. I have a life to get back to in 4 weeks, and a life to say good bye to here.
Took a little morning hike up to Phi Phi Viewing Point. Gorgeous!
Finally did Dr. Fish... Weird stuff
By the time we got back to Krabi, we had about 5 hours until we needed to be at the airport. We were tired, hungry, irritated and just wanted to sit down and not be annoyed. That's the last thing we got. By this point we were beyond done with the haggling of Thailand. We didn't make it two steps out the doors of that ferry terminal before being bombarded by taxi drivers asking where we were going. After much ignoring and yelling, we took a seat and ordered some lunch from a sweet old woman. After being bitches to the taxi drivers who would not let us enjoy our meal, a kind taxi driver came over with a map and sat down with us. Unlike the rest, actually wanted to help us, so we finally agreed on a price and hitched a ride with him into Krabi Town. He had agreed to come back 2 hours later to drive us to the airport. After some compromising on a deposit price, we spent a lovely afternoon at a corner bar drinking some Lipton. The man, to our surprise, had kept his word, and two hours later showed up in the exact spot he dropped us off at. We had lovely conversation on the way to the airport, learned he was going to Holland to visit his sister and her kids. I shook his hand and told him he was a good man. It was a lovely experience to end Thailand on after all the recent frustrations we had dealt with. A wise friend told me last night, after telling him this story, told me some of the best stories you take with you are these tiny ones that make a huge unexpected impact. Off to our quick red eye flight to Bangkok where we popped a squat on some seats and slept the night away, bags tightly secured around our wrists.



Siem Reap, Cambodia
With our lovely night's sleep (that's a lie) but it was worth us not having to pay for a hostel for 8 hours, we were off to The Kingdom of Cambodia!



Fast forward through the old wooden airport and Visa process that involved your passport being passed through a line of grumpy-looking old Cambodian men staring you down... we settled into our hostel and went out to explore Siem Reap!




Now let me just begin with saying.. I had researched and found out that they use both Cambodian Riel and US Dollars in this country. So we decided last minute to just exchange what we had into Riel. VERY. BAD. DECISION.... Lesson learned. While Cambodians will accept their own currency, they really don't like to. EVERYWHERE uses USD. And I mean everywhere. So it wasn't too long before we were fed up with the calculations and exchanged yet again... into USD. We decided not to calculate how much money we had actually lost through this whole debacle.. because it was so worth it. It was definitely weird to be using my own currency again, but obviously familiar and pretty cool.

Let's talk Cambodian food.. because well, why not!?

Three dishes that I became obsessed with..

Khmer Amok: A coconut-based fish curry (I always got it with chicken instead of fish.) Coconut milk curry- enough said. YUM. (About $3)




Khmer Lok Lak: Marinated beef on a bed of fresh lettuce, cucumber, onion and tomato. A very simple dish, but soooooo good. (About $4)



Khmer Fresh Spring Rolls: At our favorite restaurant, a set of three cost $1. Fresh spring rolls are usually all the same to me, but I don't know, there was something about these that were out of this world.. maybe it was the delicious peanut sauce or the fact that they were $1. Both?



As you see from these prices.. things are extremely cheap in Cambodia. It took us a while to get used to it. Lloyd ordered a $4 steak one night. We enjoyed a 3-set course meal for $6.50 another night. Angkor Beer is 25 cents at most places. Our tuk-tuk driver we hired for Angkor Wat.. His pay for a 7-hr workday: $15.


We had a found a great, reliable, travel agency shop near Pub Street (the famous Western bar and restaurant street in Siem Reap.) Within 20 minutes, we had taken care of money exchange, setting up our Kompong Phluk Village tour, and taking care of our tickets to the Phare Cambodian Circus as well as Rosana, the lady boy cabaret show. It always feels good when you meet legit business owners in SE Asia, who are not trying to pull a fast one on you and rip you off. Sometimes it almost seems to good to be true.


The morning after we got to Siem Reap, we were up early to meet our tuk-tuk driver who was supposed to take us to Angkor Wat. This deal was made with our taxi-driver the previous day who had driven us to the hostel from the airport. After going back and forth about prices, he had agreed that at 9am one of his coworkers would be there to meet us. 10am and 3 cups of coffee later out on the patio, we gave up. Our hostel couldn't have been more accommodating and called one of their own tuk-tuk drivers. As I stated previously... $15 for this sweet man, named Pen to drive us around for 7 hours. Waiting in the heat until our touristy asses came back from each temple, ready and waiting with ice-cold water to drive us to the next one. The sweetest man.


Angkor Wat. WOW. Breathtaking. Lloyd and I had watched a documentary on it before we left, but he took in way more than me, for he quickly became my own personal tour guide, shooting fact after fact at me as we walked through.

Here's a few quick Wikipedia facts:


  • A Buddhist temple complex
  • It's the largest religious monument in the world
  • Was built in the 12th century by King Suryavarman II and acted as his home and state temple.
  • Angkor Wat is the most well-preserved temple at the site of Angkor.
  • It appears on Cambodia's national flag and acts as a symbol almost everywhere in Cambodia.
The ruins were unbelievable. There's almost no where that is off-limits. You really do have to be careful walking around some areas because there is so much rubble and loose rock lying around. It's incredible how much of these temples have held throughout all these years. I had to stop a few times to just take it all in. The engraved walls that contained such intricate detail was remarkable. It's funny, but you have to remember that this was was not done by a factory. It took time, effort, and passion from the Khmer people.






tuk-tuk drivers waiting..
Fresh palm juice... not a fan


Was blessed by a monk
Another big temple within Angkor was Bayon. Well-known for it's massive stone faces engraved into the towers that make up the temple.








And one of the coolest temples for me: 
Ta Prohm. The trees grow out of the temples, exposing their enormous roots. It's quite the site. One of the largest trees is an ideal photo opportunity site, and we were surrounded by a comedy show of older Canadian/American accents. I'm talking 50-60 yr olds. I was actually overcome by quite an unexpected comfort standing next to them. I haven't been around older foreigners who speak my language. Not only that, but who are from my home country. (Thailand was full of Europeans and Asians.) A little unexplainable, but it was really nice to just be around this older population for a while. We got a few laughs out of them trying to work cameras for their family and friends.




Exploring the city of Angkor and all of it's temples was such an experience. Asian temples have started to grow into one. After time, they kind of become quite similar. I share this opinion with a lot of expats traveling and living in Asia. But the temples of Cambodia, the ruins put them in a league of their own. Such beauty in them.

Unfortunately that day brought on a huge rush of emotion. As we were eating lunch on the grounds of Angkor Wat, we had child after child come up to us, doing what they've been taken out of school to do. Begging for money, selling postcards, etc, mumbling, holding out their small, dirt-covered hands. Lingering. Some would leave after a simple, "No thank you." Most would stay. Not after two "no thank you's." Not after four.




We would resort to ignoring them and trying to focus on each other instead of the poor child next to us just doing what they've been told to do. It killed me. Especially the children who would linger there until you're ready to just grab them in a huge hug and take them away. I looked over to my left at one point and saw three kids playing jump rope. (Pictured left.)
Lloyd and I discussed, whether they get "play time" as a reward when they sell a certain amount of merchandise. Or maybe they have a designated time, like the equivalent of an adult's "lunch break" to play. To be a kid. To remember for a little bit that, oh yeah, I'm only 6 years old. Lloyd saw a boy laugh at another kid when he wasn't able to sell a foreigner something. I'll never forget this scene:





Later in the day at a temple, I saw two girls, no more than 5 years old, staring at the food that this Asian tour group was handing out to each other. Literally just staring. Not moving. (Pictured below)



Cambodian children surround Angkor. Their parents know that's where the income is. It's the major tourist attraction. They take their children out of school. They understand their innocence, and how that will affect us compared to a 40-year old coming up to us trying to sell a postcard.


Then you get the children on Pub Street, walking right into western restaurants because there's no law against that. Some wait for the second you're done with your meal, not letting you walk two feet into the street before coming right up to you and asking for something. Same goes for tuk-tuk drivers trying to get their own business. The second you grab your bag to leave the table, you're bombarded. Pub Street itself is so out of place on this city where poverty is everywhere you look. But you put a child in the middle of this street, wearing basically rags for clothing, shoeless, dirt-stricken skin, and your heart just breaks. Because all you really want to do is take them home for a shower, or give them a simple hug and tell them your life doesn't have to continue on like this. But all you can really do is say no thank you and walk away, because really.. where is that money going? Not directly to them I'm sure.



That night we went to the Phare Cambodian Circus. A circus, that works with Phare Ponleu Selpak, a non-profit, non-governmental association founded in 1994 by ex refugees and young Cambodians. They set up a school aimed to take in "street children", orphans, and trafficked children. The organization teaches circus skills, theater performance, music, and a range of visual arts. It was announced at the end of the show, that all of the performers we had just watched had recently graduated from the school, and was a major celebratory night for them. This show was absolutely amazing. As Lloyd said, they have almost nothing to work with. The few props they do have are put to use in ways that you can't imagine. Of course I connected to it on a whole other level because of my gymnastics background. The whole show was basically acrobatics. It was such a small venue so its was very intimate and you were with them the entire time. In the end.. I had a crazy idea to ask one of the girls to take a picture with me in a handstand.. yes.. this happened. And then the rest of the cast joined in. Lloyd has the pictures so I don't have them right now. These performers are tremendously talented. It works with a great cause and I recommend it to anyone visiting Siem Reap.


We also saw a Cabaret Show, called Rosana. Full lady-boy cast, which was definitely quite the experience. It was nothing like what we expected, but I'm not too sure what we expected in the first place.. They did a number for almost every Asian country. And then went on to do two numbers from the US, including a recent J-Lo song. I mean, wow. Wasn't my favorite part of the trip, but enjoyed it nonetheless.





Now for one of the last things we did.. Kompong Phluk.This is an isolated floating village on Tonle Sap Lake, about an hour tuk-tuk drive outside of Siem Reap. Wow. Wow. Wow. Like nothing I've ever seen before. We had our own private boat with a driver who spoke barely one word to us, but through smiles we expressed our gratitude at the end of the tour. We were on that boat sailing through the village for probably a little under 30 minutes before we made our first stop. During that entire time, Lloyd and I did not speak one word to each other. We were so engulfed in what was going on around us. What our eyes were taking in. Unreal. Again, I had to remind myself a few times that this was not a show being put on for us. This is a self-sustaining village with people who have close to nothing, and they are as happy as can be. Almost every child I saw was laughing, smiling, waving at us, some were pushing their friends in the water.
Most were naked or barely clothed. All the adults and older children were doing some kind of manual labor. Working on their house, working on their boats, pulling up nets out of the water, etc. Everyone had a job to do. Their houses were extraordinary  The way they are built, the way they are sustained, the way some are bare, but how others are decorated in some small way. It was quite amazing. Lloyd and I said the same thing as we left... we would love nothing more than to spend a few days in that village. Forgetting everything we know, living the way they do, experiencing what it's like to not have anything of what we're used to. It was an unreal experience. This is something that everyone needs to see. We thought the city of Siem Reap opened our eyes... this was on a whole new level.







I am so grateful for this vacation. Cambodia has become that country that holds a special little place in my heart. It holds such warm, kind, hardworking people. And my hope is that these children will one day find that there is more out there, get back to school, and seek opportunities to make a change in their lives..