This weekend, a few of us had what I would call one of the most interesting, real conversations I've had thus far in my life.. about what happens when you arrive back in your home country after traveling. It's worth mentioning for people who are considering traveling for the first time as well as people who are currently on their first adventures. My friend Dan had traveled across Europe for a few months at the age of eighteen. He met a man along the way who gave him the best, most useful piece of advice he would use in life. Now I don't remember his exact words he used, but it went along the lines of this:
You are going to experience and learn amazing things during your time here, and the first thing you'll want to do is go home and tell all the people who are important to you about those things. They will of course be interested in what you say, nodding, ooohing and ahhing, asking questions... but they won't really be able to take it all in. Not fully. They won't really be completely immersed in what you're saying, because how could they possibly be? They weren't there. And especially if this person you're speaking to has never traveled outside of their country, have never been exposed firsthand to a culture other than the one they were raised in and have been living in, they really won't fully get it. Of course they will be excited for you and say things like, "That's so cool! or "Wow, that sounds amazing!" or "That's awesome that you got this chance!" But there will be a kind of emptiness you feel when you try to explain the culture and the different people you've met. And how you've actually changed as a person. Because you will. Only if a little, traveling changes you.
Now this conversation was especially relative to me because I had a similar experience when I arrived back home from New Zealand. So everything Dan was talking about, everything this man he met in Europe told him, was clicking right away. I was only in NZ for one month, but the amount that I accomplished while I was there was abundant, and the amount of people I met, the information I learned about the Maori people, the ways in which I changed in four short weeks, the new outlook I had on life, the way that I started to change my everyday routine, the ways in which I now saw myself, the way I now viewed the States, were all there. And I did the exact same thing.. I remember the second I got in the car to drive home from the aiport, I talked my family's ear off. Why would you not? You just lived in a foreign country for four weeks. The people I lived with during that time did the exact same things I did, so the anticipation of getting home and releasing all of this information in your head to those you love who could not be there with you is exciting and a big deal. Before I knew it, we were home from the airport in what seemed like ten minutes time (JFK is an hour and 15 minute drive.) And even then, I wasn't satisfied because there was still so much more information I had to get out. When I first saw my friends and my boyfriend, again, I did the same thing. Eventually I started to realize that yes they had questions and we had conversations about my trip, but it was missing something. It was missing something deeper, something that I was craving, and at the time I didn't quite know what that was or what that meant. It was like I was desperately trying to make them understand this place and they couldn't. And by place, I mean NZ and everything in it as well as the place I was now in. And now I realize that that's okay. It's normal. And it happens.
Dan's friend's most important piece of advice was, You can't be angry or upset with them when you don't get the reaction you're looking for. You can't get disappointed. It's the major difference in people who travel and people who don't.
I don't even think you're looking for a specific reaction. It's not like you tell people stories and expect them to be crazed about it. It's not like that at all. But the reaction you do get makes you only realize after the fact, is off, and maybe you were subconciously looking for something else.
Of course the traveled person is not better than the other. That's ridiculous. The way I see it is that the second someone travels outside of their community and experiences other places, their mindset and outlook immediately start to drift from that of the individual who has never traveled. People crave travel, they want to get out of whatever situation they're in and hit the road. But if for some reason they can't, be it financially, family, etc. they read, they watch videos, they research these cultures, these countries, these people, the way they live, eat, speak, interact, think. These are the people I look up to. These are the people who I consider intellectual, culture-hungry, engaged, culturally-aware, motivated, curious, human beings. I am SO incredibly thankful that I got the chance to get on a plane twice and go halfway across the world. My grandmother helped me get to New Zealand, for I would never in a million years be able to afford that trip. And I worked and saved a crap ton of money for this trip to Korea. I'm thankful for EPIK whos treats their English teachers wonderfully and to my mom who will always be who she is and insists on helping me in any way that she can, even when I try to deny her. I wish I had the financial means to travel until I was ready to actually settle down somewhere. But that's not in the works for me, so for right now, I'm grateful and I'm living this experience up.
During your travels, everything you see, everything you do, every person you meet, you want the people you love most to be there at that moment with you, experiencing it too. But the fact is is that no one person travels with every single friend and their entire immediate and extended family, so I believe that most travelers have this feeling. I've got to say, it's great seeing these gorgeous mountain tops in Andong, the mysterious caves in Danyang, the beautifully sculpted temples across Korea, the chaos and excitement of Seoul, the beautiful rivers and beaches, tasting endless delicious new foods, watching the adorable Korean children play Kai Bai Bo all day long. Even dealing with feeling like a celebrity/checking that you're not showing too much cleavage/there has to be something on my face.. but no I'm just a foreigner, ignore the stares. Going through communication struggles and the stress of culture shock. It's wonderful getting to share all of these things with my friends here. But I'm sure I can speak for most of them, if not all, that we all have a feeling, even if it's a quick one that comes and goes... we all want to turn to our side and have someone from home right there looking at the same thing we are.
I decided to write about this because despite the difficulty in the reality of it, I need to accept it this time around. And like I said before, I want people who are first time travelers or people who are thinking about it to be prepared. The reality is that this will happen to most of them, but it's not a bad thing. And it shouldn't be looked at as such. It's just, for lack of better words, just kind of what happens and it's one of those things that you need to deal with as a traveler when you finally make that journey back home.
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